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Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him:
 "What are you so frantically searching?" 
Santa: "Hidden cameras!" 
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?" 
Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying...'You are watching the Star World channel'?
"How can he know what I am watching?"

               

Sardar from Bombay went to London. In the evening, he felt like talking to Sardarni.

So dialled his residence and the following conversation happened -

Sardar - O-Haello-o-o

Reply - Hello

Sardar smirks as it is an unfamiliar male voice.

Sardar - Oye, kaun hai.

Reply - Shaab, main Bahadur.

Sardar - Oye, too kahan se aya.

Bahadur - Shaab, mujhe aaj hi MemShaab ne naukri pe rakha hai.

Sardar shifts uneasily at the revealation of Sardarni's daring at keeping a Hardworking

(u can translate work) Pahari bahadur, the day Sardar has left home.

Sardar - Oye, khote, ja ke Memsahib nu bula ke mere naal gal kara.

Bahadur - Shaab, MemShaab to shota hai.

Sardar - Oye, tu Memsahib nu jaga de.

Bahadur - Par Shaab, MemShaab to Shaab ke saath sota hai.

Sardar is Red and White sorry Wild with anger.

Sardar - Dekh oye Bahadur, Tu meri gal sun. Main tera asli Sahib hoon.

Bahadur - Shaab, to phir MemShaab ke paas kaun sota hai.

Sardar - Woh koi khoti da puttar nakli Sahib ban ke aya hoga. Tu aisa kar,

drawing room ki diwar par meri dunali bandook latki hai. Ja use leke aa ja.

After a pause....

Bahadur - Haan Shaab, Bandook le aya.

Sardar - Ye telephone ke niche wali daraz men goliyaan padi

hain. Isme se do goliyaan Bandook mein daal de.

After a shuffling and cranking noise...

Bahadur - Haan Shaab, dal diya.

Sardar - Ab jake us nakli Sahib ko aur Memsahib ko shoot kar de.

Rapport of two gunshots is heard and...

Bahadur - Haan Shaab, maine dono ko shoot kar diya. Ab lashon ka kya karoon.

Sardar - Bahar garden mein gaddha khod ke dono lashon ko dafan kar de.

Bahadur - Shaab, aap kya bolta hai. Ye fifteenth floor pe garden kahan se aa gaya.

Sardar - Oh, sorry, wrong number.