Every man should get married some
time; after all, happiness is
An archaeologist is the best husband a
woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is
not fair that some men should be happier than others.
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it
I don't worry about terrorism. I was
married for two years.
A psychiatrist is a person who will give
you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
Bachelors know more about women than
married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
Men have a better time than women; for one
thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
"A man without a woman is like a fish
without a bicycle."
Marriage is a three ring circus:
When a newly
married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want
to go for our anniversary?"
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours That was only for the estimate.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he
refuses to ever get married.
If your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A man placed some flowers on the grave of
is dearly departed mother and
A couple came upon a wishing well. The
husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the
woman he loves.