Engineer Jokes
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Students at the UH Med School were receiving their first anatomy class
 with a real dead human body. They are all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a
doctor: The first is that it is necessary that you not be disgusted."
 The Professor uncovered the sheet, sunk his finger in the ass of the
 dead body,withdrew it and sucked it.
 "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated and subsequently taking turns,sunk their finger in the ass of the dead body and sucked it after withdrawing it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them: 
"The second important quality is observation. I sunk the middle finger and sucked the index. Pay attention people!!!"

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and  said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.  The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
 The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
 The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
 Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
 Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything
you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
 The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."