One day, a wealthy man was riding down a
street in the back of his
limousine. Turning a corner, he
looked out the window and noticed two
men on the side of the road eating
grass. He ordered his driver to
stop and got out to
investigate."Why are you eating grass?" he asked
one man. "Because, sir, we
don't have money for food," the poor man
replied. "Well, come along
with me then!""But, sir, I have a wife and
2 kids." "Bring them
along! And you come too," he said to the second
man. "But, sir, I have a wife
and 7 kids!""Bring them all," the
wealthy man said. So all of them
piled into the limo, which was no
easy task even though the wealthy
man's limo was one of the biggest.
Once underway, one of the poor
fellows said, "Sir, we really
appreciate your kindness!" The
rich man replied, "No, it is I who
appreciate all of you! The grass at
my house is 3 feet tall!"
A man sees another leaning against the
wall of a large building. The second
man is puffing away, one cigarette after another. The non-smoker says,
"Sir, I couldn't help noticing how you chain-smoke.
many packs do you smoke a day?"
"How long have you been smoking?"
"That's over six thousand packs. If you didn't smoke,you could have
enough money to buy this building.The smoker
takes a deep puff and says,
"Do you smoke?"
"Do you own this building?"
"Well, I do.
A police officer pulls a bloke over for
speeding and has the following
May I see your driver's license?
I don't have one. I had it suspended for speeding.
May I see the registration for this vehicle?
It's not my car. I stole it.
The car is stolen?
That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
There's a gun in the glove box?
Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the
this car and stuffed her in the boot.
There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the
handle the tense situation:
Sir, can I see your license?
Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Who's car is this?
It's mine, officer. Here's the registration papers.
Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a
Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's
a body in
Boot is opened; no body.
I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you
told him you
didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove
there was a dead body in the boot.
Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding as