Children Jokes
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

Teacher : Where were you born ?
child : India.
teacher : India? Which part?
Child  : No, the whole body.

Teacher : What is a zoo?

Johney : A place allotted for animals to study the behavior of humans…       

A guy's walking down the street and sees Dirty
  Johnny smoking
     a cigarette.
  
        He says, "Kid, you're too young to smoke."
        Johnny looks up and doesn't say anything.
        The guy says, "How old are you?"
        Johnny says, "Six."
  
        The guy says, "Six? When did you start smoking?"
        Johnny says, "Right after the first time I got
  laid."
        The guy says, "Right after the first time you got
  laid? When
     was that?"
  
        Johnny says, "I don't remember. I was drunk."

 A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year
  old Little
  
    Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
  The
    salesman
    says, "Little boy, is your father home?"
        Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says,
  "What do
     you think?"


Big Trouble

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
 

    A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's

   birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran

   to the toy store and he asked the store manager

   "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

   The Manager replied, "Which one? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for

   $19.95, 'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes shopping for

   $19.95...'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes to the

   Nightclub' for $19.95... and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00".

  "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95? Dad

   asked surprised.

 "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog,

  Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."