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One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.
Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.
Three Tamilians is a classical music school.
Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.
Two Andhraites is a spice shop.
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.

One Bengali is a rosagulla shop.
Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.
Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group.
Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.

One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.
Two Malayalees is a boat race.
Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.
Four Malayalees is an oil slick.

One Rajasthani is a cattle-seller.
Two Rajasthanis is a mason.
Three Rajasthanis is a puppet show.
Four Rajasthanis is a folk dance-drama.

One Goan is Remo Fernandes.
Two Goans is a Feni distillery.
Three Goans is a football club.
Four Goans is an all-night-long beach party.

One Mangalorean is a supari seller.
Two Mangaloreans can_t stand one another.
Three Mangaloreans is a kamat restaurant.
Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.

One Bombayite is a hawker.
Two Bombayites is a film industry.
Three Bombayites is a slum.
Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.


One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor.
Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi match.
Three Maharashtrians is a Ganpati procession.
Four Maharashtrians is a Shiv Sena Shakha.

One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train.
Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train.
Three Gujaratis is a rummy game in a Mumbai train.
Four Gujaratis is a dandiya-raas session all night long.

One Kutchi is a kirana shop.
Two Kutchis is a stationery shop.
Three Kutchis is a saree shop.
Four Kutchis is the entire Bombay retail trade.

One Sardarji is a truck-driver.
Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba.
Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit.
Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.

One Sindhi is a currency racket.
Two Sindhis is a papad factory.
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop.
Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around.

One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste category.
Four Biharis is the total literate population of the state.

One Bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two Bhaiyyas is a bhelwala / panipuri wala.
Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad.
Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.
(And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL family).

One Kashmiri is a boatman.
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency.
Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.

One Kannadiga is a coffee estate.
Two Kannadigas is an Udupi restaurant.
Three Kannadigas is a pepper powder factory.
Four Kannadigas is an anti-Cauvery squad.


One Punjabi is chhole-bathure 5 times a week.
Two Punjabis is one bottle of whisky in one night.
Three Punjabis is a public fistfight.
Four Punjabis is 200 kg of excess weight.

One Parsi is a sentence punctuated with BC_s and MC_s.
Two Parsis is a doctor and a lawyer.
Three Parsis is a 75-year-old man and his two unmarried sisters.
Four Parsis is half their remaining population.